


take me home

by ateezlights



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Adulting, Angst and Fluff, College, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Seonghwa centric, basically 5k words of honghwa, cant tag sori, idk how to tag, no beta we die like men, seongjoong sad boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 08:47:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29996832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ateezlights/pseuds/ateezlights
Summary: seongjoong alternative universe wherein hongjoong and seonghwa were ex lovers, three years later, they both met at the same house they both got from seonghwa’s grandmother before she died.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	take me home

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this au is inspired from the song take me home by ateez and im sorry in advance if my writing is shitty but it wont stop me from writing T-T but enjoy i guess? also this is purely fictional!! (i just need to emphasize it huhu :( )
> 
> english is not my first language. lowercase intended.

all seonghwa ever wanted was to go home but where is home exactly? he sighed heavily as he plopped down onto his creaky bed, his eyes staring at the uneven ceiling of his room “can somebody just magically appear and take me home?” he says to no one but himself, is australlia home to him? it used to be but not anymore.

you see, living in korea was definitely not seonghwa’s decision and as much as he hated the idea of going back to his own hometown, he couldn’t do much considering he’s only a senior in high school and still living under his parents roof. he loved living in australia, he grew up there and all of a sudden they’re going back to korea because of his grandmother and her condition. don’t get seonghwa wrong, he loves his family. it's just that his mother could’ve done better than that when they decided to migrate, they should’ve let his grandmother go with them and not leave her alone back in jinju.

“why do we even have to go back there? we should’ve let granny come with us here before” seonghwa whispers the last sentence but of course his mother is always quick to caught him “son, im so sorry, i know it’s going to be hard but granny needs us now and besides granny left her land and home to you, don’t you really want to go home?” his mom spoke softly and reminded him how dwelling into the past and thinking of what ifs whilst existing in the present is not a good thing to do, she also taught seonghwa how to always be grateful in any circumstances, be it bad or good, be grateful because there’s always a reason for everything.

and thinking about it now, seonghwa couldn’t help but be thankful for his mother’s wisdom even though it’s half assed, it taught him everything he needs to survive in life, even though that excludes all the people that once mattered to him the most— never did he imagined he’d go through hell back and forth, that even today as he celebrates his twenty second birthday, instead of a birthday greeting, he got fired from his job.

“god is great” he mumbled under his breath, a sad smile appearing on his face as he looks down to his black converse that were covered in mud before looking back up at the dark night sky, admiring how the stars shine so bright on a cold evening of august— he then walked on his way to his apartment just near the city, observing how the streets of seoul never rests. he turns down to a corner with its broken streetlight where his apartment was located, it was a very nasty place and he had been living there for a year which got him thinking ‘why the fuck did i have to go all through this?’ he shook his head in disappointment.

pride. 

pride is what took him in that situation. he remembers that day so vividly, he remembers just how much young love can drive a person insane to the point of saying ‘no’ to his parents right after his granny’s death. 

“you are not living here with that man! we are going back to australia and that’s final!” his father drags him and he squirmed away from the harsh grip of his father only for him to stumble on the ground, his lips busted as it made a hard contact with the floor “i am not going back there! granny died because of you and mom’s carelessness! she left this house to me and its all i have now and you have no right to judge me nor the person i love” he wasn’t sure where he got the confidence but fuck yeah he did that and he surely got beaten almost to death if it weren’t for hongjoong who arrived just on time and pulled away his father before hovering over him and landed a few punches on his face. it was a mess. seonghwa’s life during college was a whole mess.

hongjoong. 

he was seonghwa’s first love. they both met back in high school during senior year, seonghwa was the new student and the seat next to him is always empty for about a whole two weeks until in the middle of september, a silvered hair guy with piercings and a tattoo on the left side of his neck that were pretty evident arrives and took the seat next to him. his physical appearance just screamed total bad boy and the type of student anyone would get away. 

however, seonghwa didn’t actually see him that way. if anything, seonghwa felt like they could be best of friends but to no luck, until october, he and his seatmate weren’t able to talk. not even an exchange of hi and hellos. the guy would arrive late for class, no greetings, just a bow, and walk his way to his seat and plugged back in his earphones and dropped like dead to his desk. sleeping all throughout the day and would only wake up upon the ringing of bell. 

it was like that for a whole month— seonghwa struggled a lot in school, he wasn’t fluent in korean at all and he rarely had friends to hang out with. it was kind of depressing studying alone and trying to squeeze his brains out to take in everything but he couldn’t do so. it was hard going out alone and enjoy a “self-time” when he couldn’t even order properly on restaurants without mixing up words.

he sat on the far corner of the bleachers together with his banana milk and home made sandwich “im so sick and tired of this” he mumbles to no one but himself “i wanna go back home” he then sighed heavily upon remembering his friends back in australia. he missed them so much.

“go back home then” a voice spoke causing seonghwa to jolt in surprise “geez! you scared me” he hissed but then his face softened upon seeing the silver haired dude and he later on realized he spoke in english too. “oh my god! you speak english, woah” he says enthusiastically “yeah i do but im not fluent though so don’t expect much” he says with an accent but its better than having no one to talk to “its fine! i can speak korean too a little” seonghwa grinned but he felt embarrassed when the other just stared at him, almost judging. “wanna trade knowledge?” he says as he rests his left leg on the bleacher and faced seonghwa “my name’s kim hongjoong and you are?” 

“seonghwa. park seonghwa”

it all started there, from an awkward first interaction to having hongjoong over at his granny’s home which the old lady grew so fond of, the two would study languages for hours and hours with hongjoong teaching seonghwa almost all the subjects except english because that’s his payment for hongjoong’s tutor sessions. they both ended up being so close to the point everyone in school was totally in awe when hongjoong would show up at class in time and listening to the lectures. he began talking but would only talk a lot when it’s seonghwa. hongjoong got tons of girls asking him out on a date but he would nicely reject the offer saying he can’t due to his agency’s rules and regulations which was pure bullshit because he wasn’t actually an idol trainee. he was just getting out of them off his hair. 

seonghwa then found out later that hongjoong works as an assistant at a local tattoo shop just across the street where he lives and the reason why the latter was always freaking tired at school because he rarely gets sleep due to him trying to make it out by sending some music he, himself composed to entertainments. al though hongjoong was so keen about not letting seonghwa hear his stuff, he couldn’t really say no to seonghwa’s sparkling eyes.

and as time went on, their study session was not just study sessions anymore.

seonghwa would steal some glances at hongjoong’s sharp features from his sharp eyes that had long eye lashes to his nose that were perfect, his lips, his vampire like teeth and all of the little things seonghwa would notice. he loves when hongjoong is serious and or when he laughs, the sound of his laughter, his voice when he just woke up and above all, seonghwa loves just how intelligent hongjoong was and how he doesn’t make seonghwa feel like he’s dumb for not knowing certain topics. 

but unlike the latter, hongjoong stares at seonghwa shamelessly. he would look at his face and watch his reactions and he find how endearing seonghwa was, it was like showing someone the whole world for the first time in their lives because everytime hongjoong says something, seonghwa has this star like eyes that twinkles in awe. it was like seonghwa held the whole galaxy in his eyes and hongjoong loves it. he loves how the latter would widened his eyes upon discovering something new and or how his eyes illuminates when playing in the snow. 

hongjoong actually knew that seonghwa was just more than a friend to him and he was willing to do whatever it takes to have seonghwa his but then again, with everything that’s been going on in his life, he would never forgive himself if seonghwa gets in trouble because of him.

and so, he remained a “friend” to him.

winter break came and that’s when seonghwa realized he likes the latter.

he has a major big crush on kim hongjoong and he was against it, for whatever reason, it must not happen.

he was too afraid he’d disgusts his only friend but college came and on their freshmen welcoming party, seonghwa was badly disturbed with a certain senior, jiho who would try and get him to spend the night over at his penthouse which of course, hongjoong did not failed to noticed. when it was getting pretty late and everyone was drinking and enjoying the night jiho grabbed seonghwa and that’s when all hell broke loose.

everything hongjoong sees is red which ended up in him being suspended for a week due to jiho laying on the hospital bed with unfortunately a broken rib. since hongjoong is stubborn, he would wait outside of the university for seonghwa and will make sure jiho and his jock ass of friends is never near the raven haired male.

it was the beginning of seonghwa’s big crush turning into something bigger and deeper. he was in love with hongjoong. madly in love with him. specially with all the things he do for him, it was never a good thing for his poor and weak heart.

second semester of freshman year came and that’s when hongjoong gave him a huge bouquet of roses in different colors “will you go out with me?” he awkwardly asks with a hand scratching the back of his neck and seonghwa, in the state of euphoria, couldn’t hold back himself but to jump into the latters arms and said “yes”.

they started going out in spring and seonghwa finally puts an end to the courting when the first snow falls in december just a day before christmas. he remembers how hongjoong jumped around in happiness and he would laugh along at his silliness. 

they shared their first kiss on new year’s eve and god, did it feel so good to be kissed by someone you love who loves you back so much that even as your lips crashed with a burning passion and hunger, they still hold you with so much care and whisper i love you against the kiss followed by a smile. 

did seonghwa ever mentioned he becomes a god at night? all throughout their relationship, seonghwa is worshipped like a god, as if he created the universe and truth be told, for hongjoong the universe is only beautiful because a certain park seonghwa exists and he can call him ‘mine’. 

“god baby, if you could only look at yourself right now, you’d understand why im all for you” hongjoong confessed as his hands travel from his lover’s neck onto his collarbones and mouthed there until his skin bloomed in purple and pink, giving him butterfly kisses from his chest to his abdomen and showering seonghwa with praise after praise “you look so angelic and too vulnerable but baby you look better fucked out” seonghwa could only moan at that, his body arching in response.

“fuck me joong, please” he pants as his eyes met hongjoong dark ones and that’s all it took for hongjoong to rail the shit out of his boyfriend making sure to hit the same spot that got his baby crying in pleasure, over and over again.

everything was going smoothly, seonghwa ended up moving in to hongjoong’s condominium unit. living with his high school crush who finally became his boyfriend was definitely a dream come true. 

and just like any other relationships, on their second year in college, they began to have arguments here and there but it was nothing huge. they still find a way to fix whatever issues they’re having mainly because hongjoong would not sleep nor let him sleep if he’s mad or vice versa. it was like a rule at that point, they had to sit down after dinner and discuss their concerns before going to bed. 

third year in college came, everything was going nicely until seonghwa received a phone call from his mom saying his granny passed away. he and hongjoong went back to their hometown and seonghwa was beyond shattered but hongjoong was there by his side, they both ended up staying at his granny’s house for a while but not even a week into his grandmother’s death, his father rushed into her house and literally dragged seonghwa out of his room, cussing him out for how disgusting he was living with another man. 

“you are not living here with that man! we are going back to australia and that’s final!” his father drags him away further outside of the front door and he squirmed away from the harsh grip of his father only for him to stumble on the ground, his lips busted as it made a hard contact with the floor “i am not going back there! granny died because of you and mom’s carelessness! she left this house to me and its all i have now and you have no right to judge me nor the person i love” he wasn’t sure where he got the confidence and just like that his father beat the shit out of him, “i was working hard and your fag ass was bitching around with that guy? alright then, live the life you want!” his father says through gritted teeth with seonghwa laying on the floor helplessly with his father kicking him on his abdomen nonstop but thankfully hongjoong arrived which caused his father falling backwards as the latter grabs him by the back of his neck and hovered over him, punching him on the face which resulted to his father having a broken nose on the process.

after that incident, seonghwa cut his parents off but his mom was still trying to do her responsibility by sending his son some money and seonghwa was just not having it. the moment senior year in college came, seonghwa decided to have hongjoong as a co-owner of the house his grandmother left for him. but why did he got his boyfriend as the co-owner, you asked? well he had visualized a future with hongjoong and he wanted to live the rest of their lives at his grannys house but it was all a bad fucking decision that he regrets dearly.

you see, as senior year came, hongjoong got someone pregnant. 

seonghwa could still remember just how much it took him to open his mouth and to say something only for him to close them back again. he remembers how drenched hongjoong was because of the heavy rain and how his hands were bleeding; he got into an accident on his way home with his motorcycle losing the break and he decided to crush it into the tree instead and due to the impact, hongjoong was thrown at what he estimated to be at least five meters away from his motorcycle. he ended up walking as he was left with no choice but to just get back his bike the next day, he walked for fifteen minutes under the heavy rain and thank whoever invented leather jackets it protected a certain paper he needed to show seonghwa, which reminded him how much he fucked up.

seonghwa was quick to noticed his bleeding hands and nagged at him for driving recklessly but all hongjoong could do was stare at his lover with pained eyes. he was so stupid. 

“seonghwa” he called out, the other snapping his head and meeting his gaze, seonghwa immediately knew something was wrong. hongjoong never called him by his name, it rarely occurred and for some reason seonghwa’s hands run cold in anxiosness, as he waited for hongjoong to speak again “we need to talk” he says as he sat down beside him “im sorry” he begins, 

“im so sorry baby, im so sorry, i don’t know how it happened and i know it’s such a bullshit of an excuse, and i-“

seonghwa started to imagined all sort of nasty and he guessed his boyfriend of almost four years cheated on him, unbeknownst to him it was something much more bigger than that “just get straight to the point joong”

hongjoong then took a deep breath, his eyes bloodshot “i got a girl pregnant” he says 

“what?”

“i got someone pregnant, hwa” hongjoong got something from his jacket and it was a folded paper.

an ultrasound result.

seonghwa felt like hongjoong just threw a bucket of ices onto his head and poured some more cold ass water. seonghwa tried saying something but all his mind could process was that hongjoong is no longer the same guy he fell in love with— instead of saying something, his mouth runs dry; it was as if he was voiceless, he couldn’t utter one word and all he could do was sit there, stare at the cold floor and try his best to digest all the information hongjoong just said.

the next morning, he left hongjoong’s unit and applied for early internship. 

how did he deal with the heartbreak? he didn’t.

he didn’t deal with it but instead he worked himself hours after hours until his body collapsed in exhaustion— it’s the only way he can fall asleep. if he didn’t tire himself, he would be wide awake all day, twenty four seven, thinking where it all went wrong. where did they go wrong.

and remembering all of that is like watching his most loved and hated movie at the same time, he kept on remembering the good old days, just like how one watched their favorite movie that even if you know the ending already, no matter how shattering it was, you always find yourself looking for it. remembering it until the ending comes and all you could do is cry yourself to sleep.

just like on the cold night of his birthday in his tiny ass apartment, he felt all the sadness washing in him as he recalled all the memories he shared with hongjoong, his first love.

“i wanna go home” he mumbled under his breath as he stared at the ceilings of his room, pouting as he doesn’t really know what and where home is for him but the next morning, he found himself taking the first bus to jinju and arrived at four in the afternoon.

he stand outside of the gates of the house, it was quite a big house and it has been there when his granny got married at the age of nineteen, she was so young while his grandpaps was only twenty one that time. the house surely does hold a lot of history.

as seonghwa goes through his bag for the keys, he heard footsteps coming from inside of the house – scared for his life, seonghwa held his two fist up front showing he is ready to fight. 

he look around and the gates opened, revealing a very familiar face.

it was kim hongjoong. 

“why are you here?!” seonghwa exclaims a little too loud that caught hongjoong off guard “fucking hell!” hongjoong placed his tatted arms on his chest, still shocked but then something- no, someone, reminds him of the guy outside his house. 

“wait.. s-seonghwa?” his eyes widened upon realization, it was indeed seonghwa but to his dismay, seonghwa looked rather annoyed at his presence and that’s when he remembered, he and seonghwa never really got a closure after their so-called break up.

“i said, why the fuck are you here, hongjoong?” seonghwa was calm but his voice was a bit shaky and threatening. 

“i live here” hongjoong simply says in response, shrugging his shoulders as he dragged the trash outside, anxiously waiting for whatever the other is about to say- “how brazen of you, after what you’ve done, you have the guts to live at my grandmother’s house? and then what? did you and your wife played doll house here?!” hongjoong rosed from his bending position as he got done tying the garbage plastics, confused as to what seonghwa was blabbering “you will not live here and let alone, bring other people to live here in my home. you will leave later tonight and i don’t care whatever happens but you will leave immediately” seonghwa then turned on his heel and began walking inside, he observes how the house was a fucking mess.

did hongjoong really left him for some girl who couldn’t clean a damn house? he sounds bitter and maybe he is, what about it? you can’t blame a man who was once head over heels for another man who later on betrayed him.

seonghwa realized that the house was empty and all his mind could make up is hongjoong had his music equipments over and a tattoo gun that lays over some messy desk beside his laptop and a bunch of crumpled papers along with cups of ramen on the dining table.

“seonghwa!” hongjoong calls out his name to which got him snapping his head towards the door where hongjoong stands “im sorry for living here without asking for permission but i need to make things clear, all of your assumptions are not true” hongjoong looks at him, worry flashing on his pupils “okay, listen, i have been living here since last year, alone. I lived here alone. I have no wife, no kids or whatever you got in your mind” seonghwa stares at him, confused.

“and oh im sorry for the whole mess too. i'll make sure i'll clean them up before I leave but can I stay for a little longer? just until i find a place to stay” hongjoong says which got seonghwa’s attention. he only realized at that moment how lost hongjoong looked.

he had dark circles under his eyes and his eyes no longer hold happiness or even a glimpse of light. It was all dark and deep, just like a deep blue ocean, he can’t read them and looking at how hongjoong has been living, maybe there was a whole story he never knew and maybe hongjoong had gone through so much just like he did, alone.

“o..kay and uh, im sorry for lashing out like that a while ago but i can’t stand this mess and im cleaning it up for my sanity. also, i was just checking on the house. i’ll leave next weekend just so you know” seonghwa did not wait for any response and started gathering all the trash, as soon as he drops his bag on the sofa - he arranged all the stuffs while hongjoong went to wash the long abandoned dishes on the sink, meanwhile seonghwa come across a cd, it had a white cover and a italic font title on the front that reads una vez and below reads by khj. he didn’t really want to be so nosy but he’s a curious cat, he flips it and found the song tracks at the back and they read intro: una vez, take me home, mars, thank u and on the last track reads his hangul name, park seong hwa.

he would be really in awe but he remembers this time is different. its different now, they’re no more than just each other’s exes.

two days later into living at the same roof feels like hell and seonghwa wants to throw himself at han river in embarrassment. hongjoong just walked out of the bathroom half naked, his toned body on display as the water runs through his chest and perfect six pack- yeah no, seonghwa was not definitely staring and thirsting over his ex-lover who by the way has a good game in sex and an insane stamina for a human being.

seonghwa immediately walked out of the latters room, he was supposed to discuss things with him in terms of the idea of selling the house but instead, he saw a very unpleasing yet pleasing sight at the same time.

a week later, hongjoong woke up to a sight of seonghwa on all fours with his body arching, the cream colored leggings hugs his bottom perfectly and maybe hongjoong does like to sin, he leans on the door frame and watched how the blond haired male fold his body like he’s got no bones only for hongjoong to realize seonghwa is doing his yoga and its creepy of him to watch the latter do it. and so, he walks straight to the kitchen and made himself a cup coffee, trying his best to bury the image of his ex’s round-perky ass.

when seonghwa was done with his yoga, he head to the kitchen only to find hongjoong offering him a lemon mint flavored tea “thanks” he mumbles softly “oh right, here” hongjoong hands him the same cd he found not too long ago “what’s this?” seonghwa asks, his hands running through the plastic covered cd.

“i made you an album, i wrote and produced everything in there” hongjoong explains and smiled, it was the same smile seonghwa loves.

but all soenghwa’s mind could process was questions after questions “why?”

“what?” hongjoong stared at him with confusion evident on his eyes.

“why would you write me songs? we’re exes joong and we a-

“i miss you hwa, i miss you so much baby” hongjoong’s voice broke, he knows he did seonghwa so wrong but even he, himself could never digest what happened to him after the alleged pregnancy of some woman he only met thrice.

“no you don’t! this is wrong, okay, this is wrong”

seonghwa stormed into his room, his chest heaving, he didn’t like confrontations and he had promised himself to never get involved with hongjoong ever again.

seonghwa stayed inside his room for hours until hours became two days and hongjoong was worried sick.

he gathered all the courage he had left and softly knocks onto seonghwa’s door “you’ve been locked up there for days, you need to come out and eat, please”

luckily, seonghwa opened the door, his eyes blood shot from all the silent crying and barely getting some sleep

“can we talk?” is all he said and hongjoong, although scared, nodded his head in agreement.

as soon as they both sat at the sofa, seonghwa turned to face him “where is she?” his voice was hoarse and groggy but all hongjoong could focus on was the question the other just dropped “the girl you got pregnant, where is she?” 

“o-h, soo ah, i don’t know to be honest” hongjoong let out a fake laugh, trying to masked the sadness in his voice and honestly, if it weren’t for his stupidity, maybe he and seonghwa wouldn’t have to break up over something that is not real.

“what do you mean, you don’t know?” 

“well, after she gave birth, long story short i found out she was giving away her baby for money and that i was not the father of her child, i didn't even run into her anymore after that, she flew to god knows where and its just sad because i coul have been better but no, because of her accusation, i fucked my life up and i fucked you up” hongjoong looked broken, lifeless even and seonghwa would be lying if he said everything he just heard did not broke his own heart too. 

it was like the very first time hongjoong told him about the girl but the only difference now is that hongjoong is telling the truth.

and just like before, seonghwa felt his knees weakened and his throat dry. 

he can never imagine just how much it hurts.

hongjoong then stared at him as if studying his features “why are you silent?”  
“nothing.. its just that” seonghwa looked back up meeting the latter’s gaze “why didn’t you tell me sooner?” his voice came out weak, almost silent with how he whispered it, his eyes were starting to water and the tears ready to fall down his cheeks any time soon but he did not care anymore. 

seonghwa doesn’t care how vulnerable he looks and how much tears he would shed. he waited for an explanation for so long and now that it’s finally here, he’s torn between his own feelings, not even understanding a single emotion, all he knows is that he’s hurt not for himself nor the years he spent alone but for hongjoong who had to go through such shitty moment in his life that is supposed to be meaningful and he could’ve been there for him at the lowest point of his life but no. he walked away feeling betrayed, dirty and no clue about the truth when in reality, they were both fooled by the same situation by the same person.

“i tried, i really did hwa but you’re far up there in seoul and i have no face to show you except my sorry ass and you deserve so much more than that” a paused – “you deserve so much better than me” hongjoong’s hand find its way caressing the other’s cheek, wiping away the tears that were nonstop falling “your tears are way too precious, im not worth of your tears baby and im so sorry for everything” hongjoong, despite being a little shorter than the crying male managed to pull seonghwa into his arms and shushed him down. 

they stayed like that for how many hours, just hugging each other; hongjoong’s arms on seonghwa while the latter leans on to hongjoong’s chest, without noticing his eyes fluttering shut – by the time seonghwa woke up, the sun had already set and the moon was starting to rise with hongjoong still fast asleep with his head hanging backwards uncomfortably on the head of the sofa. seonghwa tried his best not to wake the latter and slowly put his head on his own lap.

and moments like that reminds him of their past as he observes hongjoong peacefully sleeping and there was something about it being ‘homey’ that got him thinking maybe this is what he needed after all; a home, hongjoong is his safe place – hongjoong is his home.

seonghwa took it as an opportunity and decided to place a peck on hongjoong’s lips but his eyes widened in surprise as he felt the other kissing him back only for them to pull away shortly as they stare at each other’s eyes and with hongjoong sitting up properly, seonghwa knew it’s about to be a long night.

“i am home now” he heard hongjoong whispers into the air but his eyes staring at the moon as if talking to it “everynight, i talked to the moon about you and i told the moon im homeless until i find you again and here you are” hongjoong looks at him again, eyes full of life and pride “my home” he continued making seonghwa’s heart danced in joy “i love you joong, i always have” he confessed and that’s all it take for hongjoong to crushed their lips once again, this time more deeper, the kind of kiss that burns, like it’s the first time all over again “i love you baby, so much, always” he says against the other’s flushed skin as hongjoong worked his way on forming art of his love for seonghwa almost every part of his body.

and maybe home is where you’re accepted fully, loved, treasured, forgiven and understood.

seonghwa can finally say he no longer needs someone to take him home because he just found his own way there, to hongjoong’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!! <3


End file.
